Beba

Apparently something is wrong with my email,  I keep clicking the verify link and it says that I aready verified my email but it won’t let me check my messages please help.

I am a Caffeine Addict.  I have been all week without coffee and I have a horrible headache since yesterday.  I can’t put my hair up in a ponytail because it throbs.

I can’t wait til my coffee arrives.

who posted advice on my blog about always being tired,  I have yet to see the Dr, but I will.  I have decided to have a checkup since I haven’t seen a Dr. since I weighed about 175 it is time to see how much damage I have done to my heart, since lately I have been feeling a tightness in my chest.

I am lowering my sodium intake since my husband seems to have high blood pressure it is not that hard.  I am looking for a good doctor in my area that is not too expensive since I don’t have health insurance and at the moment don’t seem to be able to afford one until I pay off my car.

As far as eating plans I hace decided to restart the South Beach diet but this time do it right, really take out all carbs and sugar.  I need to do this with even more determination than before, because every time I feel my chest tighten, all I can think about is my son, what is going to happen to my son if I die because I didn’t take this seriously.  I need to live, I need to be there for him, he hasn’t been away from me since he came into the world, not even for ten mins.

I have to get healthy again I have to be 140lbs. again no matter what, I have to do this for my son, but most importantly for my well being.

Thanks for reading and being there for me even when you don’t know me. 

Last night I was talking to my husband and I mentioned that lately I am always tired, I always go to bed late, but I still get 8 hours of sleep, I even manage to take a nap sometimes with my son, sometimes it’s against my will.  I can be telling myself over and over again the list of things I have to do and it doesn’t matter once my head touches the pillow my body doesn’t want to move, i just feel exhausted.  I fall into a deep sleep really  fast, but I have always fallen asleep really fast, there have been times when I feel like I have slet for hours and even dreamt things and only 30 mins have passed. 

My husband thinks that I might have diabetes.  I like to eat sweet things.  I don’t drink anything diet (aspartame/splenda).  I am excercising and eating ok, I really don’t know why I am always so tired.  Coffee is supposed to wake you up, well it actually gets me sleepy.  :?:  :?:  :?:  :???: 

Last night my husband went to the ER because he had hit his head 2 weeks ago and was feeling pain there now.  The Doctors ran a CT Scan and everything came out fine, he has no problems in his head.  But the Doctor referred him to an Internist because his blood pressure was really high 196/86.  Apparently “he’s a walking time bomb, a heart attack waiting to happen” (in the words of the dr.)

Which really shook me up, I may complain about how annoying he can be about things but I do love him and if something happens to him I don’t know how I’ll move on with my life and my baby.  The same thing goes for me, if something happens to me what will become of my two year old.  I haven’t been to the Drs. Office since my son was born because I lost my health insurance when I quit working.  I know it’s not an excuse because I have received large amounts of money throughout the years that could have paid for a visit.  I don’t know why I always avoid going to the Drs.  it’s an aversion I have since I was little.

I guess it all just goes back to my title, It was a drastic reminder of the consequences of not taking this diet serious.  And of the very real possibility that my son can be orphaned any day because me and my husband are fat. 

It’s time to reevaluate my plan and include my husband in it and make sure that we are both going to attend my son’s graduation 23 years from now.

 May God bless all of us on this journey to a healthier lifestyle.

Yesterday I was having a really nice game of hide and seek with my baby and I hurt my ankle running from him.  It’s not swollen it just hurts when I step to hard on it.  I can barely put my whole weight on the foot. 

Tommorrow I’m having a little pool party-BBQ for my brothers before school starts on Monday.  My son is going to have a blast at the pool.  My sunburn is gone so I can go to the pool with out causing further injury to my shoulder, I just have to remember to put on the sunblock.

Regarding my diet and excercise this week,  I haven’t really eaten on plan, I went to a Chinese Buffet 3 days ago, but I have been excercising and I started getting some cardio in the am by climbing the stairs in my home.  I did lose 1 pound which officially puts me in 198. Go me, slowly but surely I’m walking away from the 200’s.

 Gotta go my son has decided to use my pans for band practice. :lol: 

It’s true that the United States has a high nuber of Obese and sick people,  and that is inspite of all the media portraying that a woman should be around 110-120 to be normal.

I think it’s all pathetic, I remember being made to feel like crap because I didn’t have a flat stomach, or because I wore size 7 or 9 instead of 1,3 or 5.  I also remember starving myself trying to lose weight and taking different pills to help lower my weight. 

I started modeling and even though everyone thought I looked beautiful and could do anything I wasn’t allowed to do runway, or model in a two piece because I just wasn’t skinny enough, I WEIGHED 125!  What more did they want from me. I also remember going to lunch at Mcdonald’ s next to the agency and when some of the instructors came in to get their lunch, they would lecture you about not eating there or at least get a salad.

Didn’t they see the study that eating a salad from Mcdonald’s was equal to eating a cheesburger. 

I agree with Ash, in order for a diet to work as you want it to, you have to do it your way, I don’t like being to told what to do, how to do it, when to do it.  I like making my own decisions.  I like eating different foods if I’m always eating the same thing I’ll get bored.  THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IN ORDER TO LOSE WEIGHT:  COMMITMENT

You have to want to do it, when you really want something nothing will get in your way of obtaining it. At least that is the way for me, when I want something absolutely nothing and noone will get in my way, sure there might be some complications, or just plain and simply some plan changes but I’ll get it done. 

Good Luck everyone.

I woke this morning to a feeling I hadn’t felt since Tecnhical School.  I definetly got a little sunburned yesterday on my shoulders.  The good news is it’s only my shoulders, the bad news is none of my satin strap bras fit me so I’m going to be complaining all day about the strap.  MY head feels like it’s in an oven.  I told my husband I had to put on sunblock, he says don’t worry about it we’re only going to be here for an hour, he must have forgotten it was 2 in the after noon.  I can’t blame it all on him, I should have made him hold the baby for a while so I can put on the sunblock.  thank god my baby only got a nice tan.

I’m off to run some errands and come back and tidy up the living room, my sons toys overrun the place,  I don’t know what to do with them. :roll: 

I was only there for an hour in a half, since the sun was too hot, I didn’t want my baby to get burned. 

My Fat Free Cheese Flan was a hit, everybody loved the fact that it was fat free, I met up with other mommys from my sons playgroup and they noticed that I’ve lost a few and they were wondering what I was doing. 

I actually didn’t eat anything at the party, I was too busy in the water, I did drink gatorade.  When I got home I had a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds and I added raisins to it.  I forgot to put Sunblock on myself and I think I might have toasted my shoulder a bit.   :shock: 

On another note I would like to Congratulate my team the Wildcats for winning this week.

 YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY.

My community has finally opened the amenity center, so I have been taking my son to the pool, the playground, and going to the gym.  I have been busy cleaning my house this week and doing some pest control work since my brothers left.  But next week I plan on doing some classes that the community is offering in the Aerobics Studio:  (Thursdays)Interval Training-60 min. energizing cardio movements; Ab Core-Lower back and abdominal. 30 min.

I also want to join either Pilates or Yoga, but don’t know which is best any advice would be appreciated.

When I was telling my husband about my excercise on the treadmill and how my bpm went as high as 136, he freaked out and said that I have to go to the doctors because my heartbeats shouldn’t have gone that high.  I don’t know, I mean I know that my weight can have serious affect, but I have been changing my eating habits and I have worked out even harder than that day. I took it easy that day because it was my first time on a treadmill in 3 years.  I’m going to see my internist next week and do this diet, I mean lifestyle change right with a Dr. monitoring my progress.

 Anywho, tommorrow my community is having a meet your neighbor potluck lunch at the pool, we’re going, I’m taking my Fat Free Cheese Flan. 

To my fellow weight loss competitors Good Luck this weekend with weigh in.  I’m almost done with the Chat room.

Have a nice weekend everyone. :smile: